When I was back home on my book tour, I was asked to speak to high schoolers at my alma mater. I’ve gotten pretty well versed at giving my author talk, but I knew I couldn’t rely on that to engage this crowd. They didn’t care as much about the research or process that went into writing The Girls We Sent Away. As I contemplated what to say to them, I decided that the focus needed to be less about the book or its author, and more about a topic they cared about: themselves.
So, I decided to share a message that perhaps sounded a bit counter-cultural compared to advice they have heard elsewhere. That day, standing in the library of the school I graduated from a few decades ago, I told them to stop dreaming.
Okay, not really.
Well, sort of.
What I actually said was:
Don’t dream. Be determined.
A lot of people seem to think that being an author is sort of a magical, mystical experience, as if an author simply dreams a dream of writing a book, sits down and types it out in one fell swoop, and voila! It’s published! What that leaves out is all of the blood, sweat, tears, self-doubt, hard work, determination, learning experiences, and perseverance over years and years and years. Did I mention years?
Yes, I did dream of being a writer ever since I was in second grade. But I didn’t stop there. Dreaming is a passive act. We have no control over the picture shows our subconscious presents to us as we sleep, but we do have control over the actions we take while we are awake.
To accomplish something, we must be active. I actively pursued writing for years, majoring in English in college, and then continuing to learn and grow as a writer after I graduated and got a day job.
I actively pursued the story ideas that became my novels (and some that became practice and nothing more). I pursued an agent and a publisher, and now readers. I didn’t wave a magic wand and a finished book landed in the hands of readers everywhere. It took over twenty years of education and experience, along with five years from the beginning of research until my debut novel landed on bookshelves.
Simply dreaming a dream, thinking good thoughts, or waving a wand didn’t get me to where I am today—a best-selling author. It took lots and lots of work over time, taking one step after another, choosing to persevere when there were never any guarantees that any of my books would be published.
In The Girls We Sent Away, the main character, Lorraine, dreams of being an astronaut. But do you know what made it possible to place Neil Armstrong in moon dust hundreds of thousands of miles away from planet Earth and then bring him home safely? Work and determination over years.
Life is going to get in the way (Hey there, Day Job!). Distractions will happen (Hello, Kids!). Dreams will be interrupted. Some may even turn into nightmares. But, in closing, this is what I told those high school students: Don’t dream. Be determined because that’s what will keep you moving forward one step at a time.
The Girls We Sent Away is available most places books are sold. It’s the story of Lorraine Delford, the girl-next-door who seems to have it all – an upstanding family, a perfect boyfriend, an idyllic home complete with a white picket fence, and the ambition to become an astronaut – until she finds herself pregnant out of wedlock and is sent away to a maternity home to hide her secret shame. Set in the 1960s during the intersection of the Baby Scoop Era and Space Race, this powerful and affecting story explores autonomy, belonging, and a quest for agency when the illusions of life-as-you-know-it fall away.
Great advice